†from within

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Nine at night, I stick my head out to feel the ocean breeze and gaze in awe.  The purely residential roads lit up in the dark night sky as if the whole village was floating in space.  It seemed like a whole new galaxy formed as the sun crept away behind the mountains.  One light bulb, multiply it a few thousand times and watch how darkness' perception can trick you...

During the day, house after house crowded the fresh lava-resided mountains, polluting the air and the nearby river, explaining the stench lingering the air every time we drove by.  How many questions have we asked about those strange houses that we see?  Just one question and we're off to a life long journey of seeking, or are we?

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I always tell myself that happiness comes from within, but somehow I'm beginning to doubt myself.


Driving on top of a bridge to cross over the sea, I start to realize who much nothing this world has.  Yes, we're one in a million, but in the end, are we not striving towards the same goal?


Thousands walked over you and I, without worrying if we would ever break, just like a bridge.  But without you, I feel like I'm about to crumble and fall; piece by piece into the deep blue of nothingness.


Now I'm beginning to wonder if all those times of togetherness was really worth it.  After all, I'm standing here all alone now, trying to support everything and maybe it's a little too much for me now...


I miss every single moment of the past, but time refuses to wait for anybody, not even me.  I would forfeit a lifetime just to relive random moments of the past - not for you because you're already lone gone and have probably already forgotten about everything, but for all the smiles and the joy contained within.

Because it's not love between us. Never was and never will be...it just wasn't meant to be.

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I always tell myself to forget the past and to never look back, but how long could I lie to myself before I start to realize that nothing's working?

Bridges do need repairing once in a while...I'm sure.  Bridges fall apart once in a while...I'm pretty sure.  I've seen them on TV too!  Some even break days before their grand opening, collapse and destroy the hope of connection between two bodies.

But what does any of me, of you, of us, of this world really mean?  Are we not striving for the same goal? 

Look there:  a busy business man who can't stop to even bother looking twice.  A failed entrepreneur who searches endless to make means.  The snob family that is secured for life.  A recently widowed young lady with tears in her eyes, pretending not to be awake.  There's even the young and the restless, trying to find an answer to life.  And of course there's me...along with the rest of this world, lost and confused not knowing which direction to take.  Then there's you...never turning back to think about what you might be missing because you already know where life is bringing you...

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Somehow there's still nobody whose afraid of walking all over a crumbling bridge.

How many secrets still sealed to those who deserve to know?  It's amazing how all of us go through the day with unanswered questions and unsolved mysteries, yet we're still busy filing in our schedules on our blackberries and calendar notepads or whatever...I don't want it.

One trip, two trips and then the trips won't stop counting itself.  It's inevitable.

You said we'd be, you said you'd be there, you said you got my back, you said you'd be back...

so save me please, because I'm still waiting.

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I always told myself that happiness comes from within...but maybe that's a myth after all.  

Take that myth and multiply it by billions...it'd never trick anyone.  Why can't we be happy?

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