†i know where home is

†
*
Home
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I prepare for a journey today, to a far, far place from where I am.  Who knows what will happen the next hours or days?  I grab only what I need and begin my travel to the lands away.  As I placed my earphones in gently in my ears, the music suddenly takes over.

You can't help but feel like dancing, but there's always people watching.  So I look ahead of me in calm and peace, hoping that things will go smoothly today.  I look at those who walk in pairs and pass me by, each smiling in content for whatever they say.

They smile in content and some even held hands.  It was a nice sunny day, so why not be joyful?

I turn my eyes on those who stand, alone with nothing but doubt in their eyes....waiting to get out of there.  Where should I go? they think, I just want to get out of here.

A friend's?  The library?  Where should they go?  Home?

***

Where is home?

****

I restart my journey from the pause, embarking into the hardest part of my route: sharing.  I despise doing so, especially when you don't get much in return.  But when all is well and what's shared is shared, there's a calm lingering as people refuse their share and leave...more for me?

It's amazing how peaceful things can get, especially on a bright sunny day like that.  Suddenly, she leaves.  A lady disembarks from our mutual journey, wanting to go home.

Home at last...After all, she was away for quite a long time.

But as she entered her apartment door, on the fourteenth floor, she lay herself on the couch and put her eyes down and gazed into the t.v. Finally home.  A moment of relaxing, when suddenly she realized...there was nobody else.  Isn't home supposed to be where I'm happy?  Why can't I be happy?  She inhaled and she questioned, and exhaled as she answered.  She really didn't know...and gazed at the window, exposing a blindness she quite desired...

I wonder how confused she was, it was her who left the journey, but it's not like we would've stayed anyways. I fail to recognize any signs of weakness when I saw her...but I guess she just isn't sure.

*****

What is home?

******

As I retired my journey, yet a bit too early, I really felt like giving up and going back.  But we'll never know what we never did, so I go on, but separately from those before.  As the sun shines, heating my head, my vision becomes blurred and my head turns.

I enter and find where I'm supposed to be, but I know that this is not the end.

I will wait for what is mine, but yes, my heart does get anxious.

A man looks straight ahead with pride and arrogance, seeing me dragging my shoes in front of him.  Get out of my way he wanted, but yet I did not know.  Stupid little kids act like they're older than they are.  Well things change with time.....at least I hope.

*******

Sometimes there's doubt about what home is, but as I returned to where I came from, I see familiar faces and my heart warms.  But I don't feel it; this isn't my home.  I know I can't go back even further, because changing history can be dangerous.  I fail to see the point of doin so anyway, as my memories are horrifying but lame.  I choose to wait and see, because home, I know, seems a bit, well...weird?

********

When is home?

*********

I gaze into the tv screen and realized I forgot.  I got up and asked him all sorts of question, it was expected, I was new at this place.  "Sorry, what do I do next?"  But I know that this is all just a dream, cause this setting seems so molded to me.  He says, "Don't worry about it, I got it covered."

It's weird how things happen all of a sudden, with nothing to worry about when I trust him to get it covered.

I start to worry myself as I realized there's a catch to this though, but yet I thought it was a dream.

So I let it go and things went smoothly, but a bit rocky at first.  It was all good though, because he got it covered.

After a nice day of work, I went back home to get changed and all nice.  It was then I received a call...I rushed there.

**********

It wasn't much of a problem, except getting there.  I woke up and I walked back home.  Seemed a lot faster than what I experienced before. I called her, "I think I lost it..."  We retraced our steps and tried to find it, but alas, I just wanted to drop.

I got home and took off my shoes.  Gently lay my head down and stare into space...not knowing if all that was just a dream or not.  I tried so many times but yet I failed.  Nothing seemed to work, and there was no avoiding it.

***********

I give up and no longer want to play.  Life continues to confuse me more, so I leave your puzzles behind.  Let me go, or I'll find my way.

*************
If you could,

show me home...

and no longer bring me here.

***************
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